Taboo a Social Construct

body-1174536_1920Is it something that makes you uncomfortable? The thought of someone seeing you naked. The thought of two men sharing an intimate embrace? Is it something considered wrong or dirty by society?

Maybe it’s something that invokes a thrill. Something that feels naughty or dark. Something you can’t look away from. It could be putting on a show for a lover not knowing if strangers are watching. Maybe you’re the voyeur watching the woman slowly taking off her clothes to entice her lover. sensual-1341605_1280Over time though things that were once considered taboo change. Is it only by exposure that these things become more acceptable?

It may be taboo, but  it’s OK to fantasize about a stranger while your lover takes you. It’s OK to want to be bound helpless and unable to move forced to submit to someone more powerful than you.

Many people feel repressed and unable to accept how they really feel maybe they just want to be told It’s OK to want to walk the edge of what’s socially acceptable, to dip your toes in and test the waters.

Write what you know

Everyone says that to new writers and it’s sound advice. After all just like it’s best to negotiate from a position of power it’s also best to write from one. That said, what happens when you can’t do that?

Well, normally I’d suggest research…a shit ton if need be – but even that isn’t always possible.

You’re a woman how do write believable male characters or vise versa? Sometimes there is no one to ask. There is no research that can reasonably be done So what do you do?

How do you get inside the head of your male homosexual leading character and express their relationship in a way that isn’t stereo typical? How do you make it three dimensional and moving?

I think sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet.

Life is too short for bad sex

Yet it is reported that somewhere between 70 and 80% of women fake orgasm. This has got to be the one case where fake it til you make it just doesn’t cut it. So why do we do it? Is it a sense of loyalty to our lovers that makes us throw back our heads and belt out the best Meg Ryan When Harry Met Sally impression that we can? Is it that we’ve seen one too many skin flicks and so that’s what sex boils down to? Or is it simply that we’re just not that into at the time and sometimes its easier to get it over with than deal with the disappointment of turning down sex?

Who knows it could be any of these reasons. It could be all of them, and many other but why do we do it? In a world that spends billions of dollars on men getting and or keeping an erection why in the world would a woman fake it?

Anticipation

17He buckled the collar around her neck. The thick leather sliding into place against her throat felt like coming home after a long journey. The snaps on the bindings holding her wrists were next. Her breath caught and held as he drew her hands above her head securing them to the headboard.

She gave the experimental tug – she always did. It didn’t matter that she knew the bindings wouldn’t budge. Now it was only her words that would set her free. She clamped her lips tight unwilling to utter the words that would grant her escape. She caught his eye he wouldn’t blindfold her preferring instead that she was aware of his every reaction. It made her arousal sharper and shifted on the bed suddenly uncomfortable.

He didn’t say a word but his stare pinned her in place. It was a game they would play she loved him stoic, strong and silent. He loved her quivering all her barriers broken down until she was free. Free to love him free to feel. It  was a test, a battle of wills to see who would win first – and oh how she loved the game.

“Are you ready?”

She knew if she wasn’t he’d wait but she was more than ready. She licked her lips prepared to answer and thrilled at the heat that flared in his gaze. The game was on.

A Threesome is it really possible? Or is it the unicorn of sexual experiences?

feetWhat I mean by that is we’ve all seen a threesome played out on film whether it’s m/f/m or f/m/f or three guys or three women, but I don’t think it plays out the way it’s shown on screen I mean obviously on film there is someone there to yell cut and position everyone involved so that the action is shown in just the right way.

Can it be something else though. Can there be a deeper meaning? An emotional attachment that makes it more than just who’s body part fits where? Or would that create too much jealousy. Can you love two people equally or with there always be someone who takes the lead.

We are such complex creatures with a host of desires and needs but I think more than anything it’s our brain that gets in the way of pursuing what our hearts and bodies want. Society has also played a large part in telling us what is forbidden or taboo but as I write my next novel I’m finding more and more that the blinders I may have once worn are being ripped away.

Love vs. Lust…Emotion vs Sex

body-143798_640In writing it can be a hard choice to make and the words an author uses can make all the difference. I write romance, yes it’s erotic with plenty of naughty bits, but at its core it’s still romance. It’s the happily ever after that drives me. It the journey that my characters take me on.

I strive for my characters to be as real as possible with authentic emotions. I want readers to feel their joy and heartbreak. I want them to feel the thrill of the chase and the characters confusion as they struggle to work through their issues.

If I’m doing my job properly then as a reader you tear up with them, and feel the throb of their desire as if it’s your own.

What drives the story forward then? What keeps us on the edge of our seats squirming in anticipation? What keeps those pages turning hour after hour?

Is it the way that a sexual encounter is described in finite detail? Or is it the emotional journey the gritty details in watching someone be torn down as they realize unknown things about themselves.

I actually hope it’s both. I hope that the image painted with my words is provocative enough to make you squirm while the emotion of the story leaves you warm and satisfied.

To be explicit or not to be explicit? That is the question.

I know it’s not what Shakespeare was talking about but it’s been on my mind lately. Do people read books with erotic themes simply because they are explicit? I mean sex sells right? I’ve said it myself when discussing my writing. Does it need to be explicit though? Is it the way that body parts and touching are described that keeps the pages turning?

A very dear friend of mine recently told me that I’m a great writer and they could see me eventually branching out into something more meaty, but here’s the thing I like romance and to me erotic romance if done right feels more real and authentic to me. Lets face it we all love to be in love and often spend a large portion of our lives chasing after love. Who wouldn’t want to be a fly on the wall witnessing two people in the throws of passion.

Maybe it isn’t something we ever get to see in our real lives outside of fantasy and porn, but in our minds it can be anything the fantasy can dirty and primal and make your muscles tense with longing.

Do you need to say cock instead of penis? Or describe in detail the texture of a woman’s nipple against your tongue. Have we progressed past the flowery purple prose or are there still somethings that make us squirm? Words we can’t say? Words we won’t say? Words are very powerful I just happen to think the explicit ones make things more interesting.